But at some point her scholarship takes a definite turn. In what C.S. Lewis terms "the humiliation of Elizabeth Bennet," she realizes her own inadequacies and misguided impressions and begins to respect and value some of Darcy's qualities which she had not noticed under her list of adjectives for rude and arrogant.
I've been thinking a bit lately about how easy it is to be critical of one's partner, in any relationship but especially in a marriage or courting context. We're in such a close context and we have such a vested interest in the other half's behavior that little worries or quirky habits become glaring errors in our eyes. See exhibit A: the famous toothpaste tube illustration.
However, I think it's perhaps imperative to take a page from Elizabeth's book. Once she esteems Darcy and signs up to take his last name, she is his staunch supporter and steady defender of his honor and good name. She informs her father that he is basically the foremost character of her entire acquaintance.
I think we should stick up for one another, be they spouses, potential spouses, friends, siblings, parents, etc. I would certainly prefer for others to dwell on any positive traits I might have rather than search for flaws and problems that need adjusting. Not only is it honoring to our spouse or friend, but focusing on what is lovely and good in other people helps to feed a truer care and love for that person. So while it's far simpler to critique little and big things, I'm thinking that it is far better, for everyone involved, to cheer the other person on.
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